My name is Catherine, and I am a recuperating compulsive dependent gambler. Though it has been several years since I was began the process of quitting gambling, I can vividly remember the travails I encountered throughout addiction period.
Betting enslavement took pretty much everything from me like family, companions, notoriety, occupations, my home, auto, practically my marriage and cost me far more than cash; it nearly cost me my life twice from suicide. On the other hand, I was also having unidentified mental & emotional health problems and disorders I never knew about until 2002.
I felt depressed, frustrated and angry.
My First Unsuccessful Self-Murder Attempt
I arouse in an infirmary with bandages enfolded around both wrists and could listen two individuals speaking about knives all over the living room as I passed out once more. All I recall was everything returning to being dark in void. Presently I know it was an entire personality and body separate. A mental/emotional knockout. I was taken to a rehab centre after that incidence.
I was observed for self-murder for the first few days. After a short while, psychiatrist began functioning with me. And as a matter of fact, I was as well a determined gambler too. For my gambling addiction, I got help from an addictions counsellor.
I had tried to halt gambling on my own but felt I could manage it on my own and I failed with several backslidings and binges even when in outpatient therapy. Clearly, my situation wasn't hopeless.
Even after a 20 day stay in a crisis base and suicide trial!
What Could Be Happening To Me?
It is called ADDICTION. It is an illness that is so difficult to subdue. But can be done. My condition didn't end there.
In some years later, I tried to end my life not due to gambling specifically rather my imprudence relating to monetary issues, and this showed the flaws in the effort I put into getting better physically and mentally.
First lesson: Have a stable recovery plans. In any case, in 2006 I likewise simply needed to be ordinary, live in recuperation without taking medicines for mental/intense subject matters. I tried to survive without the pills and treatment sessions, I thought my sickness was caused by my gambling addiction that leads to PTSD, manic depression, mild mania anxiety and bipolar insomnia cycles and OCD. So, in a period of two weeks with no medications? I was back to intense depression and wanting to commit self-murder. My solution? I used all my medications at the same time. I had reached that dark, black hole of despondency again.
I was taken back to the remedial centre where I stayed for more than two weeks amidst intense alertness by my loved ones and those in charge to prevent me from doing the worse.
On my discharge from the hospital, I learnt an important lesson which is always to take my medicines to preserve my sanity and psychological welfare often regarded as a two-way diagnosis.
Recuperation with even pessimistic encounters, dispersed with some "faith" can show us various life teachings in recuperation. Too bad if I did not get any lessons, I won't see how much I changed in life. Even if you don't get to choose your addiction, you may hit some rocks during recovery, and you should be prepared for it.
Where Can I Be Heading With This Section Of My Narrative?
A lot of destinations
To overcome an addiction in earnest, we need to break every manner acquired during the addictive phase It is essential segment of the rehabilitation process is in harmony. Studying the techniques and instruments in detoxification and medical aid to terminate the process of dependence and clear a route for dissipating control, defence, self-justifications, and many more.
Second, come to agree that recovery is a process which extends for the entire duration of life. It is as crucial to consent as Step-one, complete giving in.
And third, having a solid 'Relapse Prevention Plan' is essential for anyone who commences recovery and wants it for a relatively long period of time. We all are aware that life events happen. Even joyful or favourable occurrences, not only bad or grievous ones.
I feel it is the reason Gamblers Anonymous poses the question in our combo book of "The 20 Questions" to check whether you have an issue with betting. It is the reason they pose #19.) "Did you ever have a strong need to celebrate any good luck by a few hours of betting?" YES! For me, even when good things occurred, I would want to observe a notable occasion by going purportedly to catch some "fun" by betting. Be that as it may, my habit was so terrible I required anything I could seize to recuperate, not simply Gamblers Anonymous.
I utilized my gatherings and associations there for my support and tuning in to other similarly invested addicts and keep my point of view of how deceptive and crafty this disease is. And GA showed me how vital it is to be there for others via recuperation service as others were there for me when I was a newbie.
We have to begin a discussion about this still quiet, quiet habit. Let's destroy the "myths" concerning it. It is one way to pull down the "stigma" around it, and around those who live dual diagnosed also. Yes, mental/emotional sickness in recovery can be a difficult task, but I think by telling people some of my experiences, vigour, and expectation, and sharing some of my stories can be an example that recovery is achievable, and we can live joyful, sound, and productive lives in recovery!